i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
