I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Mom said you looked used
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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