i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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