This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
