Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
