Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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