I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
