I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
