I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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