omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
