he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
