If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
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You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
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My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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