We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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