I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
