No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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