have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm too high and old for this...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
