He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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