True but thats because hes a fetus.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
