what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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