me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize