marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
