My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
