sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
