so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You ever have a fart follow you around?
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