he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
