Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
