After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Randomize
