lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
