dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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