Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Enjoy the penises
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize