the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
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