Pappa wants mamma naked
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
