Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
As shirtless as possible
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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