So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
