Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
