Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
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I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
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Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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