How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize