All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
