your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
