i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize