so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
