hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize