i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I wish they made helmets for livers.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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