I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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