i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
