Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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