Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize