i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
