You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
