He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
