I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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