she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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