He asked to "fluff my boner.."
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
