I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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