Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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